About Noobs

"Gibe money please! Me is noob! I report you!"

Says the level 5 rookie that just got in the game.

Once a noob, always a noob. 

When I say that people nag. "You're being mean". I'm not being mean sir, I am mean. Learn the bloody difference.

Talk about differences, there's a thick line, a real abyss, between newbies and plain noobs.

Yes, the word means about the same thing but you'll understand my point soon.


Newbie:

Ohai! I'm new in this game, can you give me some tips?

The newbie is simply a new player. He's the guy who will take a while to understand crap, btu once he does understand, for instance, a wizard won't wear metal armor, he won't go buy the metal armor, try to put on his wizard and then curse and send everything to hell because he can't equip it.
The newbie is here to have some fun in a new game. Usually has played other games before. He learns when being taught. He evolves at the normal speed of the game and maybe soon will be walking beside you as a good friend if you help him. Newbie simply means newcome, new, whatever.



Noob:

A noob is a vicious little creature who seems to have little or perhaps no skills to absorb any kind of knowledge. It's not sure wether he's an idiot because he's stubborn and thinks he knows everythign already, or if he's simply too dumb to learn anything. The newbie is an ignorant, but once you give him knowledge he will use it at his and everybody's sake to evolve. A noob will take the 5 personal messages (pm) you sent him about the quest, ask the exact questions to which you already answered, oftenly in very poor grammar (no matter which language he speaks) and re-ask those questions without paying any drop of attention to what you actually tell him.

He then later will do the opposite of what you told him to do, get screwed and blame you.
Then you'll call him a noob, as he surely is one, and he's going to cry and nag and tell everybody you're a scammer, liar, and try to report you to a game master.

You can dress a noob in the highest of all armors, in the best of all weapons, wings, costumes, accessories, rings, and he will still be a noob.

The noob will ask you for free equipment and money. All the time. Until the day he quits game or dies. But you honestly hope he dies.

A newbie can be a noob. But a noob can also be an old player with experience. The noob never learns from his experience.

Dress a noob with level 100 gear will make him die like he was a level 5. It doesn't matter if you paint the crap golden, it shall remain a piece of crap.

Noob isn't a state of mind. Noob is an adjective or subject. 

The all-grown-up noob

Let's say somehow you manage to keep a noob thinking he's your friend. Despite every fail attempt to teach him something, you're a Dalai-Lama kind and were able to stand him for so long he's now a level 100 noob. Congratulations, and I'm sorry for you. You just made a bad, bad mistake.

Try to sell something.

Noob will pm you. He will offer you a ridiculous, abusively low price. 

You'll naturally refuse. Maybe laugh at him. No, wait, you won't laugh at him, if you were patient enough to have him think he's your friend.
So he says "Oh comon maaan but your my bud! Can't ya gimmi a gud price? Or can ya lend me y'know imma pay ya baaack!"
So you'll try to get rid of him saying no a couple of times. He will seem to have given up.

About 30 minutes later he will message you again saying he found an item he can trade for your item. However such offered trade will be worst than his first price idea.

This will repeat a couple times in the next 24 hours or until you sell the item (to someone else, obviously).

Now if by then you still haven't blocked, killed him (Ingame. Always ingame. Not worth going to jail IRL for a noob. Trust me) or at least yelled at him with your mighty caps lock, then i must call you a noob too.


Noobs of a feather annoy toghether

Noobs are never alone. They always bring at least one more noob with him. So soon if you try to engage in a fail attempt to help a noob, you will end up with at least 2 noobs riding your back.

Usually you think things are bad enough with one of them, but when the rest of his team shows up you start realizing you were happy but unaware of it. The second-party noobs are worst than the main one.
It's possible, believe me.

The only way to get yourself rid of a flock of noobs is by eliminating all of them. If you block, kill or yell at one only, the others will gather against you and then you got yourself a pack of annoying raging noobs trying to revenge from you in the noobest, most annoying ways possible.


Is it right to abuse noobs?

Of coure it isn't and you know it, you bastardish prick.
It's not their fault they only have 2 braincells.
However sometimes the rage is so big you just gotta do it.

Most likely a noob will never realized you abused or scammed him in, for example, a trade. However if he does, expect him and his flock of noobs to come after you.
So choose wisely.


Avoid and elliminate noobs

When encountering a noob and realizing he is one, you only three safe options:

1. Kindly get rid of him, by answering 'I dont know' to whatever question he makes, "I can't, I'm busy', to whatever he asks help with and "I'm out of money/I'm poor" if he asks you for things. Last one is hard to prove if you walk around with shiny gears and, in Sword 2 case, for example, have a high family level.

2. Find your game's blocklist.

3. Ignore. If you got no blocklists or block buttons, pretend to be AFK, don't answer him ever again. He will eventually give up. All you need to do is not reply.

Whatever else you try to do, such as killing him or yelling at him may result in nags and getting his flock of noobs come after you in every way they can. Never underestimate a noob's outrage, remember stupid people will never respond rationally to thinga and will always make a too big deal out of any action you may decide to take. So be very, very careful. Usually the first option works, but he might respawn later, then go for option 2 or 3.


So remember kids. Just because a player is new, it doesn't mean hes a noob, he's just a bit lost in a new gaming world. Do learn how to recognize your noobs, but don't be rude to newbies presuming they're also noobs. Good luck burning your noob flocks.

May the force be with you.